I'm not sure why I'm writing this so called journal or letter. I've never been a demonstrative person, just like the family I grew up in, but that doesn't mean we weren't a loving family. We just didn't show it. Just the opposite of my wife Grace Ann's family (Italian of course). Their traditional greeting was always hugs and kisses. I wasn't used to it, but that sure didn't mean I didn't like it.
But sitting here in Chemotherapy, I realized that it was still difficult to express myself to my family and friends. But perhaps I might be able to do so through writing. I shall refer to this experience as an Adventure (sounds better to me). For, like any adventure, it will be full of the new and unknown. There will be high points and low points. Good times and bad times. It's not like I don't have the time. Every 3 weeks, I have 3 days of Chemo. 1st day is a double dose for 5-6 hours; 2nd & 3rd days are 2-3 hours. And of course I have Radiation therapy 5 days a week for seven weeks. I know this is nothing new to many of you who live in Summerfield with me. Many of you have not only been through the same, but far worse than what I'm experiencing. But, again, it's hard for me to talk about my fears and anxieties so I will try to put them down in words.
But, of course, this is not the 1st time I have dealt with the big C. In 1999 I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But, my doctor told me that I had won the lottery and they had caught it in time and were able to perform surgery before it was too late. 2 weeks later and I would not have rung in the Millenium. They still thought it would come back, but after many commutes from Olympia to Seattle for 10 years, I was pronounced cured.
But, as life can sometimes do, it decided, "not so fast, bucko. You got off easy the 1st time, so we are going to start a new Adventure". I was diagnosed with Lung Cancer on March 21, 1013. Again it hit me like a hammer. I asked the same questions I asked 14 years ago: Why Me????? But this time surgery was not an option because of the tuyupe and location of the tumor. It is a smalll cell cancer which is considered the more aggressive and is most associated with smoking. I quit smoking almost 30 years ago, but be assured, past smoking can come still come back and bite you in the A**.
I went through the usual denials. It must be a mistake! But at about 3 AM the next morning it finally hit me and I woke up and started crying. All those plans and dreams GA and I had for our retirement were shattered. That winter home we had planned to buy. All those trips we were going to take. But, I had to get a hold of myself and start dealing with realities. Again, I know that this has happened to many Summerfield residents, but it sometimes seems that we are all alone.
On one of my 1st days I met a young lady who was going through this same Adventure and we began to chat about it. The first question she asked me was, "Did I have a support group?" At first I wasn't sure what she was referring to, but then I realized that she was referring to was my family. I have a loving wife, two wonderful kids, and 8 grandkids in the immediate area. They have, of course, been very supportive during this Adventure. But the most amazing part of my adventure so far has been the "Overwhelming"k support from Summerfield. Summerfield isn't just a neighborhood or community, but a family also. So many friends and neighbors and friends have told me they were praying and thinking of us; and if we needed anything such as rides to Chemo or Radiation, run an errand, pick up groceries, etc. all we needed to do was let them know. The question asked by my fellow Adventurer had an answer: I have the best support system that anyone could have.
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